


WanderingWizard

by avet



Series: Crossovers [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Attempt at Scottish Slangs, Crossover, Gen, I Don't Even Know, LGBTQ Themes, Social Media, YouTube, how do you scot, some language, teeny tiny reference to twenty-one pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avet/pseuds/avet
Summary: Concept: Teddy Lupin-Potter is a Youtuber.





	WanderingWizard

**Author's Note:**

> ahem. hi. this's completely unbetaed and in no way proofread, but hopefully you'll enjoy reading it as i enjoyed writing it.

**WanderingWizard**

 .

.

 

It was something Merlin stumbled across by accident, if there's such thing as accidental acquisition of invaluable - or valuable, considering the amount of watching history the young tech had on her private, not Kingsman's specifically tailored, account – entertainment and really, he doesn't give a whit about what his employees do in their break time as long as they are discreet, and in some cases take care to not leave anything that may lead to someone sniffing around, but back then he had just shut off the feed to Eggsy’s, or rather, Gawain's glasses - the  _reckless, e_ _ejit gallus_  son of  _dug, if he could just reach over from the screen and throttle him to oblivion -_ and was mildly high stung, the crumbled bits of bannock on the hem of his jumper and breeks that fell due to his shock were not helping either.

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath with closed eyes, and opened them when he heard a quiet  _Bing._

 

There, at the bottom of the screen, was a notification informing him of a trigger sounded in the breakroom of the junior techies, and he curiously expanded it to see what triggered it - mere gossip or petty complaints or something trivial of the sort, for none dares to actually say something of import in the  _breakroom_ , any Kingsman's agent and employee worth their salt knows that every inch and corner of the agency is bugged and equipped with high maintenance surveillance - and found that it was his name, or more precisely, his title.

 

The recorder replayed the moment the trigger was issued, and thankfully it was not the not-so-discreet gossip, for the room was rather empty save for a passed out junior tech on the couch that pulled an all-nighter, and another one who pulled a chair beside a plug socket in the corner and was clutching a standard issue iPad between her hands, seemingly immersed in watching a video on YouTube. 

 

Now, as stated above, normally Merlin would respect his underlings privacy as long as it was not the concern of Kingsman, and if it was any other day he would’ve shut the feed and moved on to concentrate on other more important matters, but he was extremely aggravated, and after the fankle that was Eggsy Unwin, extraordinaire bampot, he was quite in the mood to footer about. 

 

He traced the link of the video and opened it on the screen, expecting either the customary porn or fashion guru wannabes - the usual haunts of the juniors, he gathers - but was mildly surprised when it was neither. 

 

**_Dad Swears By Merlin_** **,** said the title, and he barely had the time to raise an eyebrow before the maximized video began to play. 

 

_"Hi folks! Teddy here!"_ A boy barely out of teenhood bounced, with hair in alarming shade of green, a widely squared jaw and merry, twinkling dark eyes. He was stood on a flat rock teetering on the edge of a blue body of water, the sky behind him clear save for a few fat clouds; the landscape was completely unfamiliar to Merlin. 

 

_"So! As I promised in the previous vlog, I will be recording me and Dad's tour in a separate video, sadly we get to stay in this ama_ aaazing _place for only three days,"_  he stopped moving and dropped his pout, scooted closer to the camera and mock whispered, " _Ya'll know me Dads gets a bit cranky when we stay too long in one place, wonder why,"_  he sneezed and fell off whatever what he was setting on, but quickly scrambled back in place with a distant, but audible, off-screen warning of ' _careful_ '. 

 

He sheepishly smiled at whoever warned him, most likely the parent, and then turned to babble more - in _four_ different accents, Merlin was getting a headache keeping up with the lad - about what he, and his dad, were going to do today. 

 

After thirty-four seconds of helplessly watching the utter word vomit, he contemplated shutting off the video, curiosity be damned, but the lad finally shut up and flipped the camera to the other side, where a dark haired man on the short side was crouched and gazing intently at something afar. The man did not move a muscle even when the lad all but slammed into him, he turned a little and gave the boy a most unimpressed stare – Merlin noted that he possessed a pair of startling green eyes - before turning back to whatever what he was watching. 

 

The camera obligingly turned too, and suddenly there was the biggest mountain lion Merlin ever saw gazing back with terrifying ferocity. The camera did not shake. 

 

" _Don't make any sudden moves,"_ said the man softly. 

 

The lad hesitated for a moment, before slowly lowering the camera, crouching too beside his dad. " _Until when?_ " He asked, and Merlin heard a sigh, obviously from the man, before he answered. " _Until he decides we are not a threat to his territory._ " 

 

And then they sat for, if the timer was correct and not edited, fifty-three seconds, before the lad suddenly blurted. " _Can we pet it?_ " And adjusted his camera so that it faced his dad, who snorted then gave him a long-suffering look. Merlin began to truly empathize with the man. " _No, Teddy_." 

 

Then he rose smoothly, the camera quickly turning to the place where the lion was to find it vacant, and then shook a little as the lad too got up. 

 

" _Dad? Where has it gone?_ " 

 

"He  _is right in front of you_." 

 

The camera instantly turned down, and indeed, there was the lion with a fierce look in his eyes and sharp fangs bared. 

 

" _Oh_ s _hitshitshitbloodyhell_ - _Dad help_!"

 

And off went the camera.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Merlin checked the video and found that there were still twenty minutes left, unless it all featured some carnage uploaded by a fanatic, but then a merry tune began to play and a white screen got splashed with ' _wandering wizard: family edition!'_ and thankfully, the young man with his eccentric hair sprang up to wave wildly at the camera.

 

" _Sorry about the scare! But really, this is the first time I screamed for Dad ever since middle school when I found out that I could juggle a bloke's bollocks and actually feel nice about it! Mrs. Linda, you lied!"_ Merlin blinked in shock at the brazenness, but the boy continued blithely, " _Not that it matters now, BUT!"_ A wide smile stretched his face.  _"Since you folks have been nice and all, and some of you have been dropping hints ‘bout wanting to see Dad up close again -"_ several comments were plastered on the screen, some downright creepy. " _I decided to fulfill your wishes and do another family video! SAY HI DAD!"_

The boy demanded, almost smashing the camera in the other's face, and up close, Merlin noticed the bleary-eyed man with a hint of a few days stubble on his squared jaw, hair so disheveled that one of their in-house hairstylists might instantly take pity on him and offer a cut free of charges, was barely up and puttering around the small kitchenette fixing what appears to be a cup of coffee. 

 

" _Hi._ " He grunted, obviously not in the mood for socializing, and dragged himself to a wide sofa and threw himself on it. 

 

" _Merlin's saggy balls!"_

 

Merlin was offended. 

 

The boy burst out laughing.

_“Teddy!"_

 

_"Sorry, not sorry. Couldn't resist, Dad."_

 

The man sighed in frustration, before wiggling and removing a bag full of ice cubes from underneath him and promptly hurling it at the giggling brat. 

 

The next minutes of the video continued in that sequence; the boy putting things in places he shouldn't, and the father swearing by medieval fantasies figures' body parts. 

 

So far, the thirty-something man swore by Merlin's nether region, Morgana's tits, and something of Mordred he was not comfortable recalling. 

 

It was apparent that Merlin was actually immersed in the play unfolding before him, for he blinked in shock when the screen finally went black. 

 

It was completely mental, but Merlin couldn't resist opening the lad's YouTube page and starting from the first video he posted. He was sure that there's some field mission he ought to be handling, tech agents he should be terrorizing, but he figured that they could sort themselves out while he explored this newest fancy of his, it's been quite some time since he found something that managed to hold his attention.

 

In the end, after he caught a two-hours duration of videos, he had to reluctantly put a stop to his binge watching, but it was with barely any hesitation that he clicked 'subscribe'. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> a kid and a godkid of pranksters is willing to walk all over the statute of secrecy and make a youtube acc just for shits and giggles. now whos gonna believe that theres a wizarding world outta there just bc a kid happened to drop some hints, aight? 
> 
>  
> 
> ... oops.


End file.
